October 2007

1. Ron Paul doesn’t go the gym. He stays fit by exercising his civil rights.
2. Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom.
3. Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes. He kills them with his bare hands.
4. Jesus wears a wrist band that says “What Would Ron Paul Do?”
5. When Ron Paul takes a shower, he doesn’t get wet…the water gets Ron Paul.
6. Ron Paul could lead a horse to water AND convince it to drink, but he doesn’t believe the government has the right to so he refuses.
7. Ron Paul’s midi-chlorian level is off the chart.
8. When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.
9. Studies by the World Health Organization show that Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.
10. Ron Paul makes the U.S. dollar want to be a better currency.
11. Ron Paul has no alarm clock, but instead wakes every morning to the
call of freedom.
12. Ron Paul doesn’t sleep. He deliberates.
13. I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Ron Paul.
14. If you pull Ron Paul’s finger, a band will march by playing
Yankee Doodle Dandy.
15. The Declaration of Independence is printed with Ron Paul’s blood.
16. Ron Paul took a lie detector test. The lie detector tapped out.
17. Ron Paul’s idea of Gun Control is both hands on the weapon.
18. Ron Paul is Bill Maher’s hero.
19. Ron Paul is 9 feet tall, but the weight of his conscience makes
him look shorter.
20. Ron Paul declared war on the war on drugs.
21. Ron Paul uses tax returns of US citizens as toilet paper.
22. God calls Ron Paul for advice.
23. Ron Paul is like kryptonite to Rudy Giuliani.
24. Ron Paul has two first names…and is proud of it
25. Ron Paul once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one.
26. Rather than use his powers for evil, Ron Paul uses his powers
for awesome.
27. The government tried to steal once. Ron Paul made it sit in time out.
28. Ron Paul’s pen is mightier than his William Wallace broad sword.
29. Ron Paul wears running shoes so he can chase down “tax and
spend” Republicans & rip their hearts out with his bare hands.
30. Studies by the World Health Organization show that Ron Paul is the leading cause of freedom among men.
31. Ron Paul blew up both Death Stars, but the media spun the facts
in favor of Luke and Lando.
32. It was going to be called the Paul of Rights, but Ron Paul
is a humble man.
33. Ron Paul can believe its not butter.
34. When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks under the
bed for Ron Paul.
35. Ron Paul personally approved this fact.
36. Ron Paul was the OB that Delivered Chuck Norris.
37. Ron Paul can stop Global Warming with one roundhouse
kick to the sun.
38. Ron Paul can recite pi to 1776 decimal places.
39. Ron Paul is able to leap tall stacks of congressional
legislation in a single bound.
40. Ron Paul played the role of V in the movie, “V for Vendetta”.
41. Before Rudy Giuliani goes to bed he checks his
closet for Ron Paul!
42. Ron Paul defies the Laws of (Political) Science!
43. In Braveheart, Mel Gibson was originally supposed to scream “RON PAUL!” however, it was changed to just “Freedom!” for legal reasons.
44. Ron Paul taught Jesus how to walk on water.
45. Ron Paul makes King Leonidas’ fight look like child’s play.
46. Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice”.
47. Ron Paul’s experience as a Gynecologist gives him the best
credentials to fix the BUSH Administration.
48. Chuck Norris and Ron Paul were once WWE Tag Team Champions.
49. …and on the seventh day, Ron Paul said “I’ll take it from here.”
50. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of government? Ron Paul knows.
51. If Ron Paul had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called “1”.
52. The original pledge of allegiance ended with “Liberty, and Justice (and Ron Paul)”
53. Ron Paul is in talks with ABC to produce a new show… “Extreme Makeover: Country Edition.”
54. Ron Paul’s mother is the Statue of Liberty.
55. Ron Paul has bigger balls of steel than Duke Nukem!
56. Ron Paul uses the Libery Bell as an alarm clock.
57. Ron Paul once held a Congressional inquiry regarding the 2000 budget. There were no survivors.
58. At sporting events, most people stand during the Star-Spangled Banner. Ron Paul levitates.
59. Ron Paul is made up of 100% EPIC and 100% WIN.
60. Ron Paul eats the U.S. tax code for breakfast.
61. Ron Paul is one of the Ancient immortals called upon by Heaven in times of crisis.
62. Sliced bread is the greatest thing since Ron Paul.
63. Ron Paul is not watching you.
64. Ron paul was a obgyn in his private practice. But in congress hes a proctologist.
65. Yes, Ron Paul stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.