Life

Hello my name is Paul Darr and I am a survivor of all forms of child abuse. Some of you might know me from different walks of life and might be barely aware of my past. I mean, I am a 42 year old man now, but I can tell you those physical and emotional scars you gain as a child are still there under the surface the rest of your life. I used to talk about it more when younger but I do so less often now.

Today I saw someone casually calling someone a “child abuse advocate” when the person they accused has never advocated on behalf of any abuse and has done so against it. I have also seen people call people child molesters (chomo) and groomers because they identify as part of, or support the Gender & Sexual Minorities (GSM) community. In other conversations I have seen foster children invoked as part of the conversation with reproductive rights, no matter the side of that issue. 

In all of the cases, I find it disgusting that individuals that genuinely show little to no real empathy towards those of us that have been victims will then invoke us for their own arguments. Since we are victims, do they see us as weak and unable to defend ourselves from that use? By using us as pieces in that argument I think they weaken the focus on our actual abusers and they themselves are the actual abuser advocates. This is an argument I have had with people in my political life and also some with church policies. I would just ask these people to stop misusing us and leave us out of arguments that are not meant to really help us.

That will end my rant on something that has been bothering me for a while but maybe I should talk about some of the abuse I have experienced in my life. My first memory of abuse was actually of my biological mother being the victim. I remember one evening seeing my biological father beat the living crap out of her while he was drunk. I screamed at him to stop but he continued on and beat me later but I don’t remember the details of that beating too much. This was around when I was 4 or 5 and lived in Sun City, CA. My brother luckily slept through the whole thing.

After that, my biological parents divorced and my brother and I lived with our biological father with his girlfriend and several other people that lived in the home. That is when I experienced all the other forms of abuse before entering foster care. Neglect was the first one that comes to mind. My brother and I were often left to ourselves for the day. That included me getting up and ready for school and finding food to eat. I remember finding some stale ice cream cones in a cupboard and having that for a meal one day. I also remember the dogs would get fed but we would not, so I remember grabbing dog food and eating that. Since we lived in California, there were also plenty of orange and pomegranate trees around for me to raid and get food from. So food was scarce but I found ways to obtain it for my brother and I.

At the time, my biological father worked at the local card house and sold drugs. I think he mainly sold marijuana and cocaine. He was also an alcoholic. During this time of living at his girlfriend’s house is when he started beating me on a more regular basis when he came home drunk. He had this thick leather belt with a heavy metal buckle. He would swing it, hitting the buckle against the back of my knees or the center of my back. With my back, it would just make me curl back in pain and the back of the knees would cause my knees to collapse so I would fall forward. He would then tell me to, “get the fuck back up” so that he could swing again and knock me back down. During these beatings he would typically say other things like wishing I was never born but really that felt minor compared to what was going on at the time.

Another memory was the time my uncle told me to run while my biological father was there. As I took off he pulled out his paintball gun and took careful aim before shooting me in the back of the knee. I don’t know what it was with going after the knees but they must have enjoyed seeing me tumble and fall.

This sort of thing was my daily life until the day my biological mother kidnapped my brother and I but I think I will split some of this up into follow up blog posts.

The death penalty, also known as capital punishment, is the practice of putting a person to death as a punishment for a crime they have committed. It has been used throughout history and is still used in many countries today. However, there is a growing movement to abolish the death penalty. In this post I will argue that the death penalty should be abolished.

The first reason to abolish the death penalty is that it is not an effective deterrent to crime. Many people assume that the death penalty will deter potential criminals from committing serious crimes, but there is no evidence to support this claim. In fact, research has shown that the death penalty has no more of a deterrent effect than other forms of punishment, such as life imprisonment.

Secondly, the death penalty is inherently flawed because it is irreversible. Once a person has been executed, there is no way to undo the mistake if it is later discovered that they were innocent. This has happened many times throughout history, and it is likely that innocent people have been executed even in the modern era. The risk of executing an innocent person is simply too great to continue using the death penalty.

Furthermore, the death penalty is often applied in a discriminatory manner. Studies have shown that people of color and those who are poor are much more likely to be sentenced to death than those who are white and wealthy. This raises serious questions about the fairness of the criminal justice system and whether the death penalty is being applied in a just and equitable manner.

Another reason to abolish the death penalty is that it is very expensive. In many cases, the cost of prosecuting a death penalty case is significantly higher than the cost of a case where the defendant is sentenced to life in prison. This is because death penalty cases require extensive appeals and often involve a long and complex legal process. These costs are ultimately borne by taxpayers, who may not support the use of the death penalty in the first place.

Finally, the death penalty is morally wrong. It violates the fundamental human right to life, and it sends the message that killing is an acceptable form of punishment. It is not the job of the state to take human life, no matter what the circumstances. Instead, the state should focus on rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders back into society.

In conclusion, there are many compelling reasons to abolish the death penalty. It is not an effective deterrent to crime, it is irreversible and can lead to the execution of innocent people, it is often applied in a discriminatory manner, it is very expensive, and it is morally wrong. Instead of using the death penalty, we should focus on developing more effective and fair forms of punishment that prioritize rehabilitation and the protection of human rights.

“It is better to be known for what you Love than to be known for what you Hate.” – Paul Darr

There was a conversation earlier that made me say this but I was already thinking on this topic. So often now days hate and fear seem to be used as motivation. Love and hope should be greater motivating factors for actions in our life. After saying it I looked around and didn’t find a similar quote so I am claiming this one for my own and will be incorporating it into conversation and life more.