That time I had Measles

So let’s go to a less emotional yet unique occurrence. Going back in memory a bit I remember while with my bio mom she took us to a clinic and got us vaccinations. They had to chase me around to get my shots. Unfortunately MMR wasn’t part of that vaccination.

Later staying with my bio-dad and his girlfriend. I remember feeling really sick and then I started getting spots and I was worried I was getting a different looking version of the chicken pox. It was a bit of a confusing experience as a kid. I remember staying on a couch downstairs for over a week. I remember them telling me later that what I had was the measles. Considering the lack of medical care and really even much home nursing, I guess I’m just a survivor. I later also had the MMR vaccine for school shot records so I guess now I’m pretty well protected against it by being double covered.

Nowadays I’m just glad my children don’t have to live through chicken pox and measles like I did as a kid.


Who is Paul Darr?

Paul Darr has lived in California, Oregon, Colorado, and currently lives in San Antonio, Texas. Paul is also an Army Veteran, who has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. On the political spectrum Paul is a Libertarian that advocates fiscal responsibility and social tolerance. Paul is currently employed as an IT Manager and is a father of a handsome boy and beautiful daughter. In his free time Paul enjoys reading, using and modifying open source software, gaming, and several other geeky pursuits.

 1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault

1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault. I’m not sure what the percentage was when I was a kid but that is what the current percentage is on RAINN.

I remember my biological father would sometimes have parties at the house. People would come and hang out while drinking,smoking, and other stuff. He had this large red pipe bong he would pull out. He also sold coke so I’m sure people were snorting that. The large glass table in the dining room would have been ideal for that though I can’t remember for sure. I do remember at other times when he weighed the coke into smaller bags and would break down the bricks of weed into smaller bags. All part of the family business.

People would also break off to other parts of the house and you could run into them making out or in other sex acts. Prior to this I had already been exposed to other sexual situations when my bio dad would casually leave pornos on the TV in his room. For a while he had my brother and I sleeping in their walk-in closet, so I would also catch when his girlfriend and him would have sex there also. That room was different in that it had an overpowering floral smell to cover up the cigarette smell from both of them. In this environment I think I came to associate those sexual acts with love as that must be what all that passion was about. 

At the parties one of the things that also made a regular appearance was a punch made of various alcohol, juice, and fruit in a cooler with ice. People would just dip in a cup for a drink. I remember getting some for myself and that it was better tasting than the beer except for that strong alcohol after taste. I guess people also thought it was funny to see a drunk six year old. 

After a bit I remember a couple walking me back to one of the rooms. I think this is one of the things I have tried my hardest to forget in my life, so I can’t really remember their faces. Every time I bring up the memory in my head, I see a smear over this part in my memory. Like I took an eraser and smeared the flashes of color and memory in my head. What followed though was that the man had his way with me. They kind of talked to me like they were teaching me it as a lesson. Luckily I don’t remember anything getting ripped or bleeding like I understand can happen. The woman used her hand and mouth and was pleased to make my little boy penis hard though she was disappointed I didn’t ejaculate. I wasn’t old enough for puberty for the last part to really work. There were other nights where other people touched me and did various things, but it’s fuzzy from the wishing to forget and the natural effects of alcohol. 

Whenever this happened, I was hoping to feel that love and acceptance I always wanted but never got that. I knew how to keep a secret so when asked, I was happy to do so about this. When I entered foster care, I learned this was something I should be ashamed of, so I never talked about it. I didn’t want anyone to look down on me for letting this happen to myself. I’ve hated myself for it and it’s one of those things that left a mark of hate and shame in my past. I know I was a child, but it’s still something that causes me pain and impacts me to this day. I have a tough time when people stand behind me; it causes a panic of memories of not having control of myself when being physically or sexually abused. 


Who is Paul Darr?

Paul Darr has lived in California, Oregon, Colorado, and currently lives in San Antonio, Texas. Paul is also an Army Veteran, who has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. On the political spectrum Paul is a Libertarian that advocates fiscal responsibility and social tolerance. Paul is currently employed as an IT Manager and is a father of a handsome boy and beautiful daughter. In his free time Paul enjoys reading, using and modifying open source software, gaming, and several other geeky pursuits.

78% of abductors are the non-custodial parent

78% of abductors are the non-custodial parent. At least that was approximately the statistic when I was a kid. One day I remember being dropped off at our paternal grandmother’s trailer. She lived in a trailer park in another part of Lake Elsinore and we would go there once in a while. I didn’t have school, so it must have been during the summer sometime. Sometime during the day we were out front of the house when my biological mother walked up and took us by the hand and walked off quickly. My grandma yelled something but I didn’t quite catch it.

She took us to a small duplex she was living in. She did cleaning of the other units in the area and I was never clear on the whole arrangement. She was on welfare, so we were fed regularly with powdered milk, cheese, bread, and the other food you could get on food stamps at the time. We also had several toys to play with. One day I took some of the toys out to play under a tree with other kids in the area. One by one, the other kids mentioned they once had a toy just like one of mine but they had lost it or it disappeared. After this was said a few times, it finally occurred to me that my biological mother had stolen them all when cleaning the other units.I didn’t take the toys out again after that.

I have a few other splintered memories of time. I remember one day running along a field with my bio mom while gripping a toy semi truck in my hand. It was a brown overcab designed one and one of my favorite toys. We were running to get away because she thought our bio dad had seen us and we needed to get away before he could catch up. Another time we were taking off around town with her boyfriend because we had been spotted again and needed to make some fast turns for him to lose us. Her boyfriend gave me some fried pig skins to eat and then when I complained of being thirsty he gave me the beer he was drinking and laughed at me when I said it was disgusting.

One day I remember going by our maternal great-grandma’s house. Their garage had a wall covered in soda cans. They were nice enough to my brother and me  but after I think my bio-mom asked for money, they told her to go and never to come back.

It was a one bedroom duplex we were living in. It had a small kitchen and a stall shower. I of course got chickenpox so I spent a miserable week on the couch. For some relief they sprinkled baking soda on the shower floor and plugged the drain with a rag for me to lay miserable in the water for what relief it gave.

One night I woke up to hear voices from the other room. My brother and I slept on the living room couch while my bio mom slept in the  bedroom. I looked in to see the screen off her window and it forced open. Our bio dad had found us and forced himself in. He was drunk and angry at her about something. I was told to go back to sleep. They were half naked in bed so looking back I can tell he had sex with her but I’m not sure if any of it was consensual at that point.

The next day he had us all jump in his car and we drove to Mexico. I have no clue why we went there for a day or two. They got me some shoes for cheap from a market down there as mine were left behind when we left and were a tight fit anyways.I’m not sure what the trip was for. Maybe a drug pickup? My bio dad was a dealer and used it along with my bio mom. We drove back to California and he kicked my bio mom out somewhere before he drove us to the other side of town back to his girlfriend’s house. That ended the strange time I was apparently kidnapped by a non-custodial parent.


Who is Paul Darr?

Paul Darr has lived in California, Oregon, Colorado, and currently lives in San Antonio, Texas. Paul is also an Army Veteran, who has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. On the political spectrum Paul is a Libertarian that advocates fiscal responsibility and social tolerance. Paul is currently employed as an IT Manager and is a father of a handsome boy and beautiful daughter. In his free time Paul enjoys reading, using and modifying open source software, gaming, and several other geeky pursuits.